Thursday, July 26, 2012

Echoing Fear

Written by: Jessica Russo
Co-blogger for Truly Fed Ministries
 
Fear has plagued me over these past few weeks. Numbing me like the feeling of a cool wind sweeping over newly shaven skin. I see the blessings and joy in my life, I know they are there but I could not feel their entirety. When internal factors are weighing on my ability to fully embrace life I have to search out those numbing elements, take an aggressive hold on them, and drag them out of me.

There are two types of fear that usually affect me. The first being a general concern for safety of my family or loved ones. For example, if a child is doing something unsafe and I am fearful they may get hurt. I call this momentary fear. Once the action is corrected the fear is gone. This is an instinctive healthy fear that everyone experiences.

The second type is the anxiety, worry, or fear of future events or outcomes that I/we have no control over. I call this echoing fear. At times you don’t even know where the fear comes from it just keeps reverberating in your head while silently consuming you in its paralyzing fog. The Bible tells us this fear is not from God.

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Echoing fear set in a little over a week ago when I woke up unable to walk. My struggle with back pain began as a teenager when I injured my lower spine in a car wreck. As time went by I would have occasional flare-ups but they were mostly manageable then they would pass. Last week was in no way manageable. Pain was shooting from my lower back down my right leg. Immediately my mind goes to my work-outs; “Will I be able to maintain my work-outs,” “Will I be limited to walking for the rest of my life?”

Now ladies (and gents) let me tell you; I like my crazy work-outs. Running obstacle courses, lifting weights, running through mud, sand, water, you name it. The more intense they are the better. I live and breathe this wildness. So the thought of never being able to do it again sent me in an automatic tailspin of worry, anger, fear, and sadness.

I would try to push myself to walk, bend over, or move in any way. The pain reigned supreme over my stubbornness so, with two kids tagging along, I went to the emergency room. Leaving the ER I had gained a variety of medication prescriptions and two specialists referrals but no answer or treatment. Returning to my bed I sat in my own self-pity for about an hour before I used a lifeline and phoned a friend. As exceptional friends often do, she knew exactly what to say.

As soon as I hung up the phone I began to speak aloud “This fear is not part of me.” “This fear is the devil and I will not allow it to consume me.”

Echoing fear is not from God but from Satan. Send it back into darkness where it belongs. No matter what is darkening your mind with worry, anxiety, doubt or fear, cast it back where it came from and look to God for your joy, your direction, and your peace.

Psalm 34:4
“I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears”

My medical update is ongoing but promising. As for other fears that plague me I have written them down in a list. Each day I denounce one of them and pray for sound mind regarding that fear. Then I mark it off and do my best to never revisit it again. There are fears on my list such as health, my child’s education, food/weight issues, and personal failure. You may share some of these fears and/or have others of your own.

We all have echoing fears. It is a strong tool of Satan’s and he loves to use it. God has given all of us a spirit of power and peace over any other forces that Satan can use. I don’t know about you but that alone allows me the authority to consciously defend and protect myself from the darkness of doubt, worry, or echoing fear.

Blessings,
Jessica


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