Truly Fed Ministries

Taming the Beast

2012-01-21T13:35:00.002-07:00

A year and a half ago I smacked up against a situation I didn't know how to handle. Actually, I thought I knew how to handle it, but had I carried out my original plan the consequences could have been disastrous.

After Bobby received the news that he had been chosen to be a coach for the Houston Astros we were elated. We put our house on the market immediately, thinking it would take months, or even a year to sell. It sold in 4 days. During this time I was traveling nonstop as an educational consultant and speaker for Truly Fed Ministries, while Bobby packed up his jeep and moved to Houston; never to return to our home state of Colorado. The problem was who was going to move the contents of our home from Colorado to Texas? We knew we could save thousands of dollars doing it ourselves, and frankly, we didn't have the money to pay someone to move us.

As we looked ahead to making a plan, we realized that scheduling this move was going to be tough. I had a speaking engagement in northern California,would get home on a Sunday night to pack the house into a giant moving van on Monday, then begin the drive from Colorado to Texas by myself,as Bobby was in the middle of his baseball season and couldn't take off to help me drive. Once I got to Texas I'd dump the contents of our truck in a storage garage, and have 5 days to reorganize before leaving to work in Uganda. Needless to say, I was going to be tired!

Before leaving Colorado I met my friend Margaret one day for lunch, and was sharing with her our plan for the move. She looked at me quizzically and said "You're crazy! Why don't I drive the moving van with you to Texas?" I was in shock because honestly, the thought of asking for help never dawned on me. Here she was, mother to two kids, full-time job as an high ranking executive at a large company--offering to help me drive a dirty moving truck to Texas. When I asked her why she would do that her response was "Why wouldn't I?"

I've never forgotten that. She had a thousand good reasons to never even mention helping me. I didn't expect an ounce of help, and she was offering it without an inkling of emotion as to the strain it would put on her family and co-workers.

Margaret and I had quite an adventure. We affectionately named the truck "The Beast" as we rolled down the highway at top speeds of 45 mph. People at gas stations would stop and stare at us, when finally one woman shouted "You two are my heroes!" She even asked to take our picture hanging out the doors of our beloved beast.

I've often thought that if Margaret hadn't been with me I'm certain I would have struggled to stay awake and alert. I had just come off an intense speaking schedule where I hardly slept for days. Every time she took the wheel I slumped into the passenger seat and was asleep mid-sentence. I know I couldn't have physically lasted through the rolling highway that lulled me into a snoring haze.

Whenever I think about that move I think about Margaret. She echoed in her behavior the words of Jesus when He said "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." And although we don't need to drive giant trucks across state borders with people to show we care...sometimes we just need to lay down our lives for a few moments and pay attention to what's going on. A call, a card, a hug.

When we lay down our lives for someone else, what we've laid down is often just what they need to build up. We lay down, friends build up...it's a great way to tame our beasts.

Blessings!
Gari

A Place to Meet

2011-11-14T15:28:00.002-07:00

Today I did something crazy. For those of you who know me, you know that's not unusual! I took a lawn chair, my bible, and a notebook--and pulled up to a path of trees. I've walked this path before, as it sits on the edge of a giant paved parking lot next to my beloved church. What fascinates me is this chunk of land is now forgotten. It used to have a farm on it, and from the look of the worn path, possibly a barn. It must have been a grand site. There's a stunning dirt road carved out of stately trees that line what was probably an orchard strewn walkway leading to a farmhouse that once sheltered a family. People homesteaded this land decades ago, long before they knew that one day a church the size of a small city would sit on their humble stretch of land.

It was on this land that I had a "tree meeting" with God. Before you assume I've lost my mind...let me explain. Several months ago I was reeling from a large dose of insecurity. So many questions fighting for validity in my mind. "Am I smart enough to continue to write books?" "Now that I'm in the big leagues of writing, can I keep up with the demands and the work load?" "What if I fail, and let everyone, including God, down?" With the force of a linebacker, the questions keep knocking the breath right out of me.

One day I came upon a scripture that seemed to spread ointment over my chaffed soul.
"Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, For she will be like a tree planted by the water,that extends its roots by a stream, and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought...nor cease to yield fruit." Jeremiah 17

For months I kept looking for "my" tree. I pictured a fabulous oak stretched out over a trickling creek. I thought it may be in the mountains, or on a running trail that I would lean up next to and call mine. After looking for that tree for seven months, I was stunned to find it in a paved parking lot.

Every Monday morning before the sun would rise I would walk this lot, praying for God to shine His favor on the speaking and teaching I would deliver in that church on Monday evenings. Boy did He show up! One week as I strolled the lot praying, I looked up at the string of trees that somehow I had missed for months. As I meandered through them, the sun seemed to shine so thick over one of the tree's branches that it looked like it was coated in gold and caramel--gooey enough to lick and bright enough to grab sunglasses to block the glare. I stood there speechless, and quietly uttered a prayer, "Is this my tree God?" The goosebumps on my skin told me it was.

So this morning I plopped a lawnchair in the back of my jeep, and sat down next to my tree for some time of peaceful insight and praise. The questions that beat me up still surface now and then, but I know the truth that silences them. I nudged next to my tree outlined by a black paved parking lot and busy highway...relishing the new place I have to meet with God. Sometimes He shows up in unexpected paths and parking lots...

Blessings!
Gari

test run

2011-11-11T10:53:00.000-07:00

2011-11-11T10:40:00.001-07:00

Back on Track!

2011-11-10T21:20:00.005-07:00

To all my blogging friends...so sorry for the time that has lapsed between my last post. I got a new lap top, and for some reason this new computer wouldn't let me post my blogs. Truthfully, even my Geek Squad buddy at Best Buy couldn't figure the problem out, but thankfully I think we're back on track! Look for some brand new blogs coming up in the next week or two!
Big Hugs,
Gari
(No...I'm not in the vintage picture of the cheerleaders...Smile...)

Getting out of our Bathrobes

2011-08-16T12:38:00.003-06:00

It may be hard to believe, but I actually started a recent speaking engagement in my hot pink, fuzzy robe! The ladies looked at me as if I were half crazy, which once they heard me speak, was confirmed. The truth is, I love my robe... and I love my jammies too. I've been known to go for a jog, run errands, and spend an entire day buzzing around in my favorite nightie T-shirt. Even though I love wearing this shirt, I'm always hoping I don't run into someone I know. I may be comfortable, but I'm not really functioning my best in it.

When it comes to belief in God,we need to get out of our bathrobes. Comfort isn't the essential factor in faith, having some guts is.

In the Gospel of Mark a man brings his son to Jesus. The boy had severe convulsions, so bad that the father was is beside himself with despair. When Jesus asked him how long this had been happening, the jolted dad responded with a litany of pain, and topped his response off with "If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us!"

Jesus responded "If You can! All things are possible to him who believes."

With a sigh in his voice and heart the man shouted back "I do believe; help my unbelief."

This man's cry is the cry of humanity--we do believe, but in the same breath, we don't. Believing that God can actually change the things that hurt us the most may be one of the hardest things about faith. We can't live in our bathrobes and expect to go deeper in our belief.

This desperate father was authentic about his struggle to believe, and still had the guts to present his son to Jesus for a miracle. Faith is messy, and anyone who has ever needed God to transform a life, a habit, a marriage, a disease, a job, a dream--utters the same gutsy plea that this father did.

"I do believe, help my unbelief" is authentic and fresh. It pushes us out of our bathrobes into a gutsy stanz for faith to flourish.
Blessings!
Gari

Postured to Hear

2011-07-23T10:49:00.003-06:00

I find myself feeling tired and it's only 10:30 in the morning! My day has already been packed with "must do" and "have to" activities. Like most women today, I'm blazing through my life at a speed that could make the space shuttle look slow.

In the midst of my bulging day, I've pondered how I listen for God. I'm convinced that how we listen for God, can determine our filling by God. So many of us beg to hear from God, and sadly, when He tries to speak to us, we bristle right by Him.

In scripture, there's an interesting pattern to how Jesus filled people.
"And when it was evening the disciples came to Him saying 'The place is desolate, and the time is already past; so send the multitudes away, that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves.'
But Jesus said to them 'They don't need to go away; you give them something to eat!'
And they said to Him, 'We have here only five loaves and two fish.' And He said 'Bring them here.'
And ordering the multitudes to sit down on the grass, He took the five loaves and two fish, and looking up toward heaven, He blessed the food and gave it to His disciples to give to the multitudes. They all ate and were satisfied, and there were 12 baskets of food leftover." (Matthew 14)

The multitude Jesus fed could have been as many as 10 thousand people! The bible says there were 5,000 men, and this didn't include women and children. That's a big crowd and way you slice it, but what's fascinating is how Jesus chose to get their attention so they could be fed. He made them sit down! Prior to this they were milling around, talking to one another, interacting, trying to get a closer look at the healings taking place. Before they could receive a filling, they had to sit. In another encounter shortly after this one, Jesus said the exact same thing to another huge crowd. "And He directed the multitude to sit down on the ground." (Matthew 15)

Why does Jesus insist on a posture of sitting? Simply put, we don't hear very well when we're milling around! To hear from Him, be filled by Him, and have enough for baskets of left-overs; we have to sit down and be still.

Sometimes I practice this by turning off my radio while I'm driving, or keeping the house quiet while I get dressed. Sometimes it looks like getting up a little early to just kneel or sit without an agenda with God. However it may look in our lives... being still may be the most productive thing we do today.

Blessings!
Gari

Game Changers

2011-06-21T13:46:00.002-06:00

Being married to a professional athlete and coach for almost three decades I've come to realize the distinct difference between winning and losing often doesn't show up on a scoreboard or in a box score. It shows in the bravery of the person participating.

We are in love with our current team even though we seem to loose more than we win. Recently I had to miss one of our home games to teach a class. As the game proceeded one of the wives on our team texted me a message that broke my heart. She said that there were several men behind her that were destroying her husband verbally. Muttering to themselves and everyone within their seat's vicinity that he should be fired. Although this is typical jargon at ballgames, it cuts deep when it's your husband or son that they're booing. I shot her back a text that simply said "Five smooth stones...we will see God's glory." Later that night she relayed that message to her husband. He instantly stopped and asked with full gaze "What do you think she meant by 5 smooth stones?"

Honestly, when I texted that message I didn't have any deep insight to share, I was just thinking about how David, when faced with a cocky giant breathing insults at God's army, bent down and picked up 5 smooth stones to use in his Shepard-made slingshot. He had no sophisticated weapons, no physical advantage (the giant Goliath was about 9 feet tall!)and no authentic support as everyone around him thought it was hopeless and he was a bit crazy!

I often wonder what it might have sounded like if after he picked up each smooth stone, he named them before putting them into his small pouch. Their names may have been courage, clarity, fortitude, trust, and tenacity.

Courage: The ability to face things that make you afraid

Clarity: A laser-like focus that cuts through unnecessary rubble and leaves you with direction and peace

Fortitude: A determination to push through pain or confusion until results are seen

Trust: A reliance on the God bigger than the giants we face

Tenacity: The absolute certainty that what we hope for will transpire

Last week I filled several small, clear bags with 5 smooth stones and asked Bobby to give them to a few men on our team. Sometimes we just need to get a gutsy,new perspective. Like a small Shepard facing a giant, we face the giants in our lives. And although you may not face them with people screaming at you from the seats of a stadium, the screams still resound in the messy confines of our minds. Five smooth stones can be the game changer...

Blessings!
Gari

Spirit Hunger...What are we really longing for?

2011-06-10T09:35:00.002-06:00

Do you ever feel hungry for something that food or substance can't satisfy? Do you sense longings that seem to push and percolate their way to the surface of bland days? Lately I've been pondering this as I write my next book.

Most psychologists and sociologists agree that humanity has certain longings that are universal in nature:
1. Longing for nurture, attention and affirmation
2. Longing for purpose
3. Longing for intimacy: to hear and be heard
4. Longing for discipline

In my own life I can see how these longings have sometimes pushed me into some tight corners. Craving to be noticed and affirmed--taking on tasks I don't desire to create purpose--substituting real intimacy for fake replacements--and facilitating between being overly discipline and lacking discipline.

As I write this I'm sitting at Panera next to a table of beautiful women that look to be around 60 years old. Dressed to a tee, sharp make-up and outfits, I can tell they are old friends with history. One woman is dominating the conversation- talking about everything from her house to her dog. She's talked for about 20 minutes straight, and I don't think her friends could budge a comment in if they tried. But they seem to love this friend, or at the very least- tolerate her with respect. (I know it seems nosy that I'm talking about their conversation, but they're talking really loud for goodness sake!)

Listening to this got me thinking about longings. Maybe this chatty friend needs extra nurturing and affirmation today. Maybe she's floundering with no purpose and longs for an extra measure of intimacy today. Or, maybe she lacks the discipline to notice it's time to let someone else speak. Whatever the case- it reminds me of how God must lovingly sigh when we run from thing to thing to satisfy ourselves. It's a little like pouring water into a broken pitcher. You can pour with the greatest intention, but the water is still going to leak all over place.

I can always tell when I'm trying to pour a broken pitcher of water over my messy longings. It's then that I ask God for a filling that doesn't leak.

Blessings!
Gari

2011-05-13T15:13:00.002-06:00

If I could run away, I'd run to a place that looks like this. Gorgeous setting with just enough seats for an intimate meal. Shabby chic yet elegant. A gate that leads to a stunning life somewhere. No stress, no disappointment, no mental fatigue, no irritations.
Today I feel like running away. It's hard to say why exactly, except that a blast of pain from a stained past seems to have punched me in the face like a mean boxer. It's pushed me into a corner where my eyes swell up and I can't see past the bloody mess the boxing gloves have left on my life.

It's in these moments that I'm reminded of a words from a fellow writer who tries to make sense of grace...
"That which seems evil, is it a cloud to bring rain, to bring a greater good to the whole of the world? Who would ever know the greater graces of comfort and perseverance, mercy and forgiveness, patience and courage, if no shadows fell over a life?"

I'm thinking that if I choose the right set of lenses, I can see shadows as proof that the sun is shining. You can't have a shadow without the sun-- and you can't have real grace without THE SON.

So for today, instead of dwelling on the shadow, I choose to see the sun behind it. It's no fairytale, but it beats running away...

Blessings!
Gari

Bobby meets the President!

2011-04-21T20:30:00.002-06:00

As Bobby and I rode home from an Astros game, chatting fervently about pitching, fielding percentage, and our need for some home-run production, he quietly mumbled under his breath "Oh, I'm meeting President Bush and Barbara for lunch tomorrow."
"You're what?" I shouted, forgetting it was just he and I in the car and there was no need for extra volume. Granted, the Bush's are regulars at games in Houston during April and May before they leave for their summer destination. And granted, last spring training the manager's wife and I got to sit at a game with Barbara and chat about hairstyles, baseball, and random ridiculous topics. But this was lunch with the former President and First Lady. It's a big deal any way you slice it- and I couldn't wait to hear how it went.

Bobby came home armed with a personally signed hardcover book of the President's memoir, and a two deck box of cards with the Presidential Seal on them. Gin Rummy will never be the same.

Reflecting on this unique opportunity he was given I was struck by the unlikely way God threads impossible meetings and opportunities into our lives in ways we could never orchestrate ourselves. There's a verse in one of the Psalms that says "He makes my feet like hinds' feet, and sets me upon my high places."

A deer's feet are specially designed to travel to summits and peaks that most animals can't make it to. Their sense of grace, balance, and stamina to climb the high places is a gift they both enjoy and struggle with. It's enjoyed on days when they leap the high places with no threat of pending storms or a hunter's bow. It's a struggle when the snow is coming sideways and their footing seems fragile and weak compared to the size of the mountain.

It's in these times that I realize that our feet are created for the journey's God intends. He leads us all to high places where we stand- amazed at the circumstances that brought us there.
A friendship that leads to a special opportunity years later...
A boss that opens a door to a better job after being laid off...
An acquaintance that leads to a soul mate...
A heart-ache that lead to restoration and growth...

Such is the way of the hinds' feet on the high places. And although your high places may not include lunch with a former President- they're still showing off a breathtaking view.

Crusty Crabs

2011-03-31T11:40:00.002-06:00

I took this picture a few weeks ago when I was visiting my daughter Brooke in San Francisco. She wasn't exactly thrilled when I begged her to put this "Crab Hat" on her head for a picture--but being the good sport that she is- she slapped it on her head and smiled.

Surrounded by marine life as we walked along the pier, I was intrigued by the notion of crabs. As a beach lover that has lived most of her life in a land-locked state- even the ugly sea animals make me cheer with delight...even crabs. They aren't exactly lovable, with their pincher claws and crusty outer shell, but oh do they have a tender meat on the inside!

This reminds me of myself on my crabby days. Pinching those that get in the way of my plans or expectations. Crusty to God's whisper of a new idea or person that needs to be loved. Sometimes I'm crabby and I can't even explain why!

The author of most of the Psalms in the bible was a wealthy king named David. That's not new news to most of us, but did you know that he struggled with being crabby? His moods often got the best of him, putting him in the crustacean's family, just like the rest of us. Listen to what he moans to God:

"Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
The help of my moods, and my God."
Psalm 42: 11

I love the authenticity of David. His crabbiness is prodding him to do something gutsy and brave. It's prodding him to hope in God. He realizes that his moods, his crustiness, his outlook...are all wrapped up in the One he loves. Disturbed and despairing- he hopes- instead of burying himself in the sand like most crabs do when they are threatened or want to escape.

Although I still cheer when I see crabs, I don't want to live my life like one. The tender crab meat inside is what I hope to reflect. And I hope it doesn't take a hammer and a giant bib to pull it out of me!

Blessings...
Gari

Here Comes the Sun

2011-03-20T06:57:00.002-06:00

I don't know how you handle failure, but I stink at it. For me, feeling like I've failed someone can be likened to putting a toothpick in my eye. It hurts- and it always leaves splinters that I have to try and figure out.
The other day I had the opportunity to speak to a group of women. Now that I have made speaking my profession- there's nothing unusual about that. But what happened stung me like a bee. I didn't feel like I did a good job.

The last few months have been glorious as I finished an 8 week course I've been writing- gathering this material and beginning to write my second book from it. Other speaking events this year have been powerful and filled with a sense of purpose and awe. So what happened here? Why did I feel like a failure? And why do these fragments of splinters continue to beat me up?

As I've sorted through the facts I've realized some things: I didn't understand the purpose of the event clearly, I was coming off an intense time of writing and preparation and thought I could get by with less, and I misunderstood how they wanted the material packaged. With this clarity you'd think I could just move on...but that feeling of failure just keeps taking another swing at my already bandaged heart.

What do we do with failure? How can we let it go and chalk things up to "I'll do better next time?" This morning I woke up with an old tune floating through my head. I may not have the words exactly right , but you'll get the gist.

Little Darling-- It's been a long cold lonely winter. Little Darling-- It seems like years since you've been here. Here comes the sun. Here comes the sun. It's alright..."

As I've hummed this tune to myself today, I thought about the line "Here comes the sun" and almost giggled when I thought about my love for another kind of sun. The SON. The SON never beats us when we've failed. As a matter of fact- He totally gets it, and invites us to feel comforted by His grace. The SON never heaps guilt on an already wounded heart, but instead holds the heart in His hands and says "Try again. Use me and my strength to get back up again." And most important, the SON is always cheering us on to greater meaning, purpose, and character in our lives.

So if today you are reflecting on a time you've failed-- let a boss down, yelled at your kids, ignored your husband or wife, didn't do your best at something, got a traffic ticket, forgot to do something important, overindulged, picked laziness instead of action-- know you're in good company. That's humanity. And remember the words to this song, with a little twist--
Here comes the SON. Here comes the SON... It's alright...

Blessings,
Gari

Peeking into Treasure

2011-02-03T13:24:00.003-07:00

As my mom and I sat in a doctor's office- waiting for her biopsy of breast tissue which turned out to be cancer- she looked at me and said "Honey, I want to take you to France." My mind was more on cancer- but I uttered "I'd love to!" So after her surgery and treatment, off we went, like two teens on a trip after high school graduation.
We traveled on a small cruise boat that floated down a river through France- stopping at gorgeous villages from the 1300's, stunning churches, and landscape that looked like jewels had dazzled the ground instead of grass. But one day ended up being our favorite, and it completely took both of us by surprise.

Everyone disembarked the boat with the hope of climbing to the top of a large hill which housed the remains of an old castle. The climb was a bit difficult though- and although I am a thrill seeker extraordinaire- mom had some trouble with her back, and climbing seemed out of the question. We decided that we would meander around the quiet village that nestled against the hill with the remains of the castle.
As we wandered up and down the streets you could feel the calm pace of the villager's lives. Another man from our boat who suffered from a weak heart joined mom and I as we walked the cobbled stones past a bakery, church, and cafe. Each home that bordered the cobbled sidewalk seemed blocked off from the public eye. There were gates with thick ivy growing- it seemed to keep the people out and beauty in.

I had my face plastered against a fence, trying to see one house in particular- when a kind elderly French man passed me with a gentle greeting. I don't know a single word in French past croissant- so his greeting was especially warm. He literally grabbed my arm and asked if our small band of wanderers wanted to see his home, sequestered behind the ivy. We nodded yes, and off we went. The picture you see at the top of this blog is his home. Not only did he let us enjoy the beauty of the outside of his home- but he invited us in!
There we were, in this man's lovely home, not able to speak one word to each other, but completely understanding each other's language. He motioned us to his backyard where we viewed flowers, bushes, and trees literally bursting with color. Lilacs lined every inch of the fencing that protected this intense treasure. It was the essence of simplicity and beauty.
As we left his home we repeatedly embraced him- thanking him for inviting us into his privacy and retreat- but more importantly, into his beauty.
We stood on the sidewalk breathless and giddy. A man with a weak heart, a woman with a bad back, and a woman with a desire to press her face against people's fences to get a glimpse into their lives. We all three said that without a doubt, this was our favorite day.
The people that climbed the mountain had fun too- but I knew that we had experienced something of the authentic presence of God that day.
An invitation to see His beauty in a way that supersedes language. An invitation to simply enjoy His beauty- without fanfare or drama.

I am reminded of the words of David in one of the Psalms...
"One thing I have asked from the Lord,
That I shall seek;
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord." (Psalm 27)

May we not miss His beauty when He gives us a chance to peek in.

Rich blessings!
Gari

Get in the Pool

2011-01-24T19:27:00.002-07:00

When I was in college, each summer I would return home to work at a local health club. One of my duties was to teach all kinds of aerobics classes. I know I'm dating myself here- think big hair, leggings over tights, and disco music while we jumped around on a hard wood floor!
One day my boss informed me that he wanted me to teach water aerobics in the pool. "How hard can it be?" I thought, as I stood on the edge and shouted instructions to all my ladies immersed in the pool. When the class was over my boss called me aside and told me that to be an effective teacher I needed to get in the water with the ladies and actually do the class with them.
I have never forgotten that lesson- and boy was he right. Class attendance tripled, and so did my compassion for those I was teaching.

One of the things I respect most about Jesus is the way He fully understands what it's like to be human. Every heartache, temptation, desire and pull is completely familiar to Him. He is the essence of authenticity when it comes to being human.

"For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted." Hebrews 2:18

If Jesus merely taught from the side of the pool- barking out instructions about how we should live but not getting into the water Himself- I would have a hard time following Him. I'd constantly be wondering how He could truly understand what it feels like to be afraid, to lose something you love, to feel betrayed or abandoned- or to grasp the pain and beauty of being fully alive.
If He hadn't gotten in the pool and become human I couldn't trust Him- much less give my life to Him.

The truth is He did more than get in the water. He actually is the "lifeguard"- not only lapping around us with ropes and lifesaving rings, but putting us in a sidestroke- His arms over our limp bodies, protecting us from the depths, carrying us towards safety.

So even if you can't see the bottom of your pool right now, know that your lifeguard sees you. He knows the depths of your life- and He's been in the pool.

Blessings-
Gari

Blues and Blahs

2011-01-10T14:55:00.003-07:00

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This morning I woke up to gray skies. The sky really seemed to imitate my mood. A bit chilly, drizzly, and an overall dull outlook towards the new day before me.
What happened? The weekend was great. Good friends, good food, good rest, and clear focus. The truth is- the blues and blahs can settle like whispers or screams- but they definitely settle- like unwelcome house guests that don't understand it's time to leave.

My good friend Leanne spoke about this very encounter yesterday in our Sunday school class. I love how the bible explains all the messy details of being human. Being stuck in a rut of despair is certainly one of them.

Elijah was a prophet that was unequaled in power and performance. Think Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Babe Ruth. Then add the fact that he had the power of the living God working in him as he called down fire to prove the false gods of his day a farce. After a huge display of God's power by his hands- word spread to Queen Jezebel that this prophet had destroyed the false prophets that she heartily endorsed. "I'll kill him" she snapped. You'd think that Elijah would laugh in the face of that threat- but instead he ran away, and crumbled under a Juniper tree.

Filled with despair, fear, and exhaustion- Elijah moaned and muttered to the gray skies above him. He fell into a pit of despair. But like my friend says "It's really not a pit, it's a tunnel." The great thing about tunnels is that there is light at the end of them.

We can learn a few things from Elijah as he sunk into his tunnel:
1. When we are worn out, we don't think soundly (like running from a woman's threat when you've just called rain and fire down from heaven...)

2. When we isolate ourselves everything seems worse

3. Self-pity exaggerates and lies

4. When we forget what God has done in our lives, we have no true compass

So as this day turns to dusk, the gray color that has tinted the sky is now turning black- but I truly feel better knowing that tomorrow will dawn with a new color to the sky. And even if it's gray, my heart doesn't need to process it that way.

Blessings!
Gari

P.S.- For my Texas reading friends, join us on Sundays at 9:30, Second Baptist Church in Katy, the Life Application Class- for some great learning, teaching, and fun...

Giving More Presence

2010-12-19T13:26:00.002-07:00

A few weeks ago Bobby and I attended a conference called Pro Athletes Outreach. It was a powerful time for athletes and their wives to refuel and refocus who we are and what we do.

One of the featured speakers was a pastor from St. Louis. He was one of those guys that you love to listen to. Hip but not trite. Authentic without being pushy. On the last day of the conference he shared something that has blown across the nation like a storm. He called it The Advent Conspiracy. It's wildly simple in its tenants- yet considered a "conspiracy" because it's so counter to the direction our culture swims. Even Whoopi Goldberg is talking about it- and that's huge...

*Spend less on yourself
*What you don't spend on yourself try to give to someone or something
*Give your loved ones more presence than presents

That last one really got me. What does it mean to give people my presence? Presents are easy. You buy them, wrap them, and give them away... But presence is different. Presence means that I will really listen to what my kids/husband/ and friends are saying. Instead of token nods and hurried listening- I will truly engage in what they are saying. I will think about their concerns and pray for them sincerely after our conversations are through.

Jesus was the master of presence. Everything about Him oozed authentic engagement. He fed people that were hungry. He healed people that were hurting. He laughed and cried with His friends. He pleaded with His Father for the hearts of people.

Have you ever noticed that Jesus never gave a present that was bought and wrapped? You don't read about Him popping into the Jerusalem Target to pick up a few gifts. He simply gave His presence- and that was big enough to alter the world.

I still have wrapped gifts under the tree, and I can't wait for our family to enjoy them, but this year I'm more concerned with presence...a gift that no price tag can define.

Blessings...
Gari

Life is Like a Sticky Note

2010-12-13T16:06:00.002-07:00

I am addicted to sticky notes. I've been known to walk around for a full hour with a sticky note attached to my forehead. The fluorescent colors make me wild, and don't even get me started on the sticky notes that come in the shape of a heart or flower...
I use stickies for a myriad of purposes: to remind me of something I need to do, someone I need to talk to, or something I need to pray about. To mark a powerful part of something I'm reading, something I need to use in my writing, or something I want to use when I teach.

When I was in Uganda this summer working with kids and teachers at an orphanage, it was fascinating to see their reaction to sticky notes. Just the colors and fact they stuck on everything, including skin, was enough to hold the kids spell bound- regardless of the purposes we were trying to introduce for their use. Let's face it- sticky notes are one of the great inventions of the last few decades. If I could personally thank the creator of the colorful little square paper with a glue-like tab at the top I would.

As I ponder the wonders of sticky notes I'm reminded of the picture you see at the top of my blog. I snapped this photo at the end of a gathering I led. We all had piles of sticky notes in front of us, and we silently wrote out sticky after sticky reflecting on what we feared- the voices that plagued our minds reminding us of how we fall short or somehow seem to disappoint God- or the ways we constantly seem to boomerang back to old patterns of behavior we hate.

When we were done writing on the stickies, I asked the group to gather around a table where we quietly stuck them, one by one, on the cross.

At first it seemed a little contrived and weird. Sticky notes on a cross? But when we were done, and the tears were falling, it was actually quite beautiful. Like a Christmas tree that is adorned with lights and sparkles, the cross was now adorned with pain, conflict, and a kind of fluorescent hope.

To be able to put our fears on the cross is the ultimate sticky note. You can write them out, then get rid of them- not needing to keep them attached to your forehead as a reminder of past failures. They now stick to the cross- where Jesus bears their print.

"For it was the Father's good pleasure for all the fullness to dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His Cross..." (Colossians)

If you need a little sticky note therapy this week, I encourage you to get a pack and write like crazy. But don't keep the sticky notes around you or on you, put them on a cross.

Blessings-
Gari

Does God Like You?

2010-12-07T13:42:00.003-07:00

As I sit at a table in my office (Panera Bread) and write, I am struck with how many holy encounters seem to take place in this restaurant. Behind me I hear a woman sharing her broken heart over a failed relationship. Next to me a team of teachers meet to discuss the problems they encounter with a certain troubled teen. Across from them sits an elderly man, alone, while he brings his hot chicken noodle soup to his lips.

Christmas is nearing, and as I look at the cookies and bread displayed on the counter, and the "huddles" of people gathering to talk or share a problem- a question stirs in me... "Does God like us?" I mean it. Does He like us?

We hear the litany of religious phrases that say God loves us. He has a plan for our lives, and so on. But does He like us?

The last few days one line of scripture has circulated and percolated in my mind. It's from the gospel of Luke in a scene that is utterly unexpected and wild.

After Mary gave birth to Jesus in a stable filled with animals and manure, she may have been questioning whether she had missed God's best. Was this really the way that God planned for His son to enter the scene? At the very least maybe she could have expected a bed with sheets rather than straw and animal sounds. But here's where the story comes full circle.

In that same region some shepards were on a hill. We tend to romanticize shepards now days because when you really think about it- how many shepards do you know? But during Mary's day, the shepards were the blue-collar workers who did the hard work with little pay or glory. Think of them as modern day truckers... So on a cold winter's night all of the sudden heaven ripped open and thousands and thousands of angels are singing and partying, the likes of which we can only imagine- and do you know what they said?
" Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to mankind
with whom He is pleased."

In the midst of the Christmas story, and the pain or busyness of life, we tend to overlook these words. God is pleased with us.

It's not because we have behaved well. It's not because we are the most attractive religiously. The shepards certainly weren't the most attractive, influential people of their day. As a matter of fact they were somewhat snubbed and looked down on. Yet isn't it mind blowing that they were the first to hear this life changing news?

God likes you. He is pleased with you. And He has sent a gift beyond compare in His son Jesus. A baby born into the manure of a stable- much like the manure of our life.

From that event rings the cry of God to the world... I like you. I am thrilled with you. Let the angels party and sing with abandon because this is still His love song over our lives.

Blessings-
Gari

Crushing Waves

2010-11-15T15:14:00.003-07:00

Do you ever feel like your life resembles trying to swim under this wave? Just the sheer magnitude and power of the water is enough to make you lose your breath- let alone the current it has to tumble you under its weight.

There have been times in my faith where I felt like a beginning surfer trying to navigate the surf off the coast of Australia... Unprepared, weak, insignificant, and used to a sense of failure when it comes to big waves. The pull and undertow of habits and compulsions seem to draw me in- ready to destroy the peace and promise I know is mine in Christ...but sometimes seems like an illusive dream.

In the fourth chapter of Mark an amazing story about waves takes place. Jesus is in a boat with His disciples, asleep- when the weather takes a drastic change. Fierce gale winds are tossing the boat around, and the waves are coming in over the side of the boat...so much so that the bible says the boat is filling up!

In the midst of this mini-Titanic Jesus is asleep in the front of the boat. This is symbolic on so many levels. The disciples are in a full panic- standing over the sleeping Savior while wringing their hands in worry and despair. Finally they wake Him up with a comment that is passive,aggressive, and downright angry... "Teacher, don't you care that we are perishing?" Jesus looks around at the waves, possibly yawns, and says "Hush, be still." The Bible says that the wind died down and it became perfectly calm. Seriously...

I love what Jesus says to the disciples (and to us) next. He says "Why are you so timid? How is it that you have no faith?" Goodness knows that when waves are crashing around us the last thing we typically feel is filled with faith- yet Jesus says "Don't be timid- you don't have to be afraid!"

Truthfully, the reason we don't have to be afraid has nothing to do with the capacity of our faith. It has everything to do with the fact that Jesus is on your boat ...and He isn't afraid. That's where I put my faith. Not in the craftsmanship of the boat maker, not in the weather patterns of the sea, and certainly not in my ability to surf the currents...it's in His ability to stop the crashing waves of my life with one word, or to be my personal lifeguard when the undertow is too strong.

Blessings!
Gari

Extreme Life Makeover

2010-11-08T10:02:00.003-07:00

This picture was taken of me (on the left) and a few of the Astro's wives as we stopped by the set of Extreme House Makeover this summer. A family in Houston was selected to receive a new home- and we got to be a part of seeing this happen. The family of 7 lived in a literal shack. To make matters worse, since the hurricane that hit this area a few years ago, rats lived in the home with them! They were a deserving family who counseled married couples and helped those in their community. To see a beautiful home resurrected on the same property that their former shack sat on was pure inspiration.
It got me thinking about how God does Extreme Life Makeovers on us... The kind of makeover that can rebuild a life broken from habits, compulsion, and despair. The kind of makeover that says "I don't care how trashed out you are, or what condition the walls of your life are in...I can rebuild them."

It was fascinating to watch the "real" process of the home makeover- not the version we watch on TV (which I love...and always have a box of Kleenex handy). The day of the reveal it was about 100 degrees, and humidity to match. But people showed up in herds. The camera men asked us to yell "move that bus" about 15 different times so they could capture just the right angle on film. Once the family got out and there were screams and cries- they went into their new home. Quickly I realized that the home wasn't even near completion! I was told by one of the directors that they were ushered into a small unfinished room, and it would actually take another week at least to finish the home. So much for "reality" TV! I wanted to believe that it romantically transpires just like we see on the television- the door opens and it's automatically lovely. The truth is... it takes time. Just like God's work in us takes time.
When we let Jesus rebuild, remake, repaint, uncover, and restore- we witness an unveiling like no other.

I know God's Extreme Life Makeovers are possible. I was chosen for one, and have been crying in thanks ever since. Instead of "Move that bus!" maybe we can cry out "Change my life...".

It's the ultimate reality...
Blessings!
Gari

Asking, Seeking, Knocking

2010-11-03T12:34:00.002-06:00

One day after Jesus had spent some time praying, when He returned to His disciples they asked Him to teach them how to pray. Jesus started by showing His pattern for prayer... "Father , hallowed is your name... (praise and posture of worship)
Your kingdom come...(what you are doing in the spiritual realm, let us see in the physical realm) Give us this day our daily bread...(give me what food I need to sustain and enjoy, not to abuse or be compulsive with) And forgive us our sins... (and help me to forgive myself when I've messed up with food because I wouldn't treat others as harshly as I treat myself) And lead us not into temptation... (help me to realize that freedom isn't the absence of temptation, but the ability to not get sucked into it)...

After Jesus shared this model of prayer, He gave an example of a man that was quite frankly, rude in his behavior. At about midnight, he comes banging on his neighbor's door looking for food. It wasn't even food for himself or his family because they were in need, it was simply food for some people that had dropped by. Like going to a friend's house at midnight to borrow a pizza for some other friends. Rude! But Jesus uses this man, rude behavior and all to prove a point. He says that even though this man was ridiculous in his behavior, because of his persistence, he got what he needed.

In other words, when we are postured for real prayer, not prayer whining or worry with a few "God words" attached... with some persistence, we will hear God. We will see Him move, work , and show us ways to move towards freedom and hope with food rather than defeat and wallowing.

If we persistently ask God to open our eyes to layers of healing, to inspire us with His word and the hope for a different relationship with food... life begins to change.

Much love sweet blogging friends...
Gari

Garbage in the trash can or garbage in my body

2010-11-01T12:49:00.002-06:00

It's the day after Halloween. Our doorbell rang off the wall last night for about three hours as I dashed to the door to hand out candy of all sorts to little warriors, princesses, super heroes and cheerleaders. They were darling! (For my readers from Africa we have this custom in America on October 31 where kids dress in costumes, go from house to house, and get candy that they store in a bag or pillowcase!)

When I knew it was too late for another trick-or-treater I looked at Bobby and sighed. We bought too much candy...again! I'm really not a big candy lover, and Bobby only enjoys it occasionally. So we accessed our candy loot, saved a few pieces we thought we would like, and threw the rest out. I know some readers are gasping right now! What about the waste? Why couldn't we find a way to give it away? How can you put something as yummy as candy in the trash?

Back when I was teaching I would bring the leftover stash to my classroom and use it throughout the year- but since I don't have a classroom now, it goes into the trash- and I can honestly tell you it doesn't bother me a bit. As a matter of fact- it's actually quite liberating.

I remember a time when I would have compulsively eaten away at that candy stash...damaging my heart, soul, body and teeth! Somewhere along the line we have bought the lie that if we throw food out we are terrible people. Yet we are willing to waste it in our bodies. The logic is crazy, yet we abide by it, thinking it's better to eat food we don't want or need to avoid wasting it. Here's a bit of truth to chew on... Our bodies are not garbage cans to be filled with compulsive amounts of food.

It's so freeing to throw something out instead of consuming it in guilt and deceit.

I often think of these words penned by the apostle Paul "Food is for the stomach, and the stomach is for food; but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord- and the Lord is for the body." (1 Cor. 6:13)

In other words, all the fretting, hiding, dieting, binging, and lamenting food...in the end- means nothing. It's just food. Our bodies (and sane minds) are for the Lord, and He is for our bodies. How wonderful!

So if you struggle with not wasting food, please realize that eating compulsively to not waste- is waste inside our bodies. It's OK to get rid of food that you don't really want or need. I often say this phrase "Garbage in the trash can, garbage in my body- I'll pick the trash can..."

Craving Solid Food Instead of the Bottle

2010-10-29T13:23:00.003-06:00

I always promised myself I wouldn't be one of those people that shared pictures of their kids and grand kids. It used to annoy me when people would whip out those tattered photos as if the world just couldn't wait to stop and stare at the strangers in the snapshot. So here I am sharing a picture of the new love of my life...our grandchild Reese. She's 9 months old and absolutely captivating.

As I watch her grow and interact with the world, I am struck by the process of maturing. When she was born she couldn't function without constant care and nourishing. She mostly slept her life away in a daze of sucking and nuzzling. As she has grown, she can now hold her own bottle, move around independently, and her doctor has said she can eat solid food for every meal. Gasp... She's not a little baby anymore. She's in a new stage of her life.

I'm reminded how God desires for us to grow up too. It's amazing how many grown-ups walk around with spiritual pacifiers still stuck in their mouths. I know- because I was one of them! Wanting to grow up and mature, but not sure I could live without my pacifier in hand.
The apostle Paul says "For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of God, and have come to need milk, and not solid food."

Goodness knows there's nothing worse than wanting to bite into a delicious sandwich, but instead needing to suck your food out of a bottle. There comes a point when we have to decide to grow up spiritually. I remember when the desire to be fed and entertained on a spiritual level began to turn into a desire to grow, shed off immature behaviors and habits, and love others. My habits and behaviors with food constantly got in the way of maturing because of the mental space they took up in my head. The constant focus on food didn't leave room for true growth and adventure with the Lord.

When I began to shed the immaturity- reading and studying God's word, letting Him redefine and recreate my babyish ways- a mature woman began to form. OK- so I still have my moments of "teen-age" incoherence at times...but the pay-off for maturing is remarkable. Solid food always beats baby food jars of green peas and sweet potatoes. We can exchange our pacifiers for true security and identity.
Blessings!
Gari

From Tears to Treasure

2010-10-27T12:33:00.002-06:00

As I sit in a coffee shop, lap top in hand, I'm thinking about the group of ladies I just left. Women from different age groups, hair color, and pant sizes- yet we share one common bond--we want to be free from the traps and heartache of bondage to food compulsion.

The ladies had a different look in their eyes today then they have the previous 6 weeks that we have met and shared time together. They are now fully aware that their lives weren't so carefully covered in Saran Wrap as they thought. It's all unraveling- and you know what? It's a good unwrapping!

When we finally come to the end of our excuses, blandness, and numbing- we can move towards freedom. In the gospel of John Jesus asks a man that has been 38 years in some kind of infirmity (most scholars think he was paralyzed) "Do you wish to get well?" The man quickly answers that he does want to get well, but there are some things keeping him from getting there. Jesus then profoundly tells him to get up, take up his mat, and walk. Essentially, Jesus tells him to stop laying on the dirty mat that has defined your thinking, and get up and walk towards a new life.

From tears to treasure...this is how God can change our lives when we choose to get up, take up our mats, and walk.

May you see your beauty as God does today.
Blessings...
Gari

Waking from a Dangerous Slumber

2010-10-25T08:42:00.002-06:00

I love to sleep. Most people do! Yet for years of my life I struggled with the pursuit of good sleep. When I was in high school and college there was the constant pull of exams, activities, and noise that kept me awake. After I had babies the pursuit of sleep intensified as I functioned in a zombie-like state after soothing their nightly needs until they seemed to reach the age of three! Don't even get me started on the teenage years filled with sleepless nights waiting for them to come in safely. I finally thought I might be in for some good rest when they went to college, but that's when hormones seemed to move into my bedroom and we all would tuck ourselves in to bed at night hoping for a good snooze- but anticipating some nightly drama. My theory is that we want sleep, we need sleep- but sometimes it will escape us no matter what we do to try and enjoy it.
This week as I prepare to teach at church on Sunday I am studying a scripture in Ephesians that reminded me of my plight with sleep. Paul says three little lines that were probably a part of a hymn that the church in Ephesus sang together. It goes like this...
"Awake sleeper,
And arise from the dead,
And Christ will shine on you."

I realized when I first read this that Paul was saying something powerful. It's about our spiritual slumber- and how we live.

I remember feeling a bit like a sleep-walker in my relationship with food. I would numbly grab for food (or restriction of it when I was on an anorexic swing) and like a person in a deep sleep, compulsive thoughts of food would lull me like a bad lullaby.

Paul's words are an invitation...no...more like a command. He's saying "Get up! Wake up! Don't live like you're dead anymore!"

Why?

So that Christ will shine on you... His shining is like the rise of the sun after a perfect night's sleep. His shining fills, protects, and enlightens us. His shining melts off the deception and crust of our sleepy eyes.

Let's wake up out of our spiritual sleep- whatever that may look like. Let's live in the expectant hope of a Savior that is the ultimate alarm clock.
Blessings...
Gari

Letting go of Image Upkeep

2010-10-22T09:19:00.002-06:00

This picture was taken of Brooke (our oldest), myself, my husband Bobby, our grand baby Reese, and our son Colton (our other daughter Ally was out of town and we graciously got to kidnap her baby for a few days!). In the middle of our picture is the team mascot for the Houston Astros. I have absolutely no idea why a rabbit is connected to the Astros...but it is. So there in the middle of our picture is a giant rabbit. We know that inside that costume someone is moving and breathing. Shaking hands and acting like a friendly, buck-teeth bunny. What we don't know is what that man under the costume really looks like. What is he thinking? Is he irritated with the costume, and uncomfortable moving around in it? Does he wish these annoying people would go away so he could take off his costume and drink a Diet Coke?
I remember living so many years of my life like this costumed bunny. Presenting a picture to the outside world that look friendly, sweet and inviting- when really I felt closed off, isolated, and bland. Food became a tricky substitute for the real engagement of relationships and Christ's love. In the book of Ephesians Paul talks about laying aside the old self. He says "...in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind."

What a joy it is to know that we don't have to live with fake rabbit heads covering us. We can choose to lay aside the old self- and shed our costumes. Paul goes on to say "...put on the new self, which in the likeness of God, has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth." I'll take that over buck teeth and fur any day.
Blessings...
Gari

Banquet with the King

2010-10-20T12:45:00.002-06:00

I just finished teaching a Truly Fed class in my new home state of Texas. The last class of Truly Fed is always a bit emotional. We leave the room we start the class in, and move into a room that I have set up to look like a beautiful banquet table. I bring in real colored glass goblets, candles sparkle across the ivory lace tablecloths, beads and jewel looking strands grace every corner of the tables. I also take antique dishes and attach this scripture to them "'Behold, the former things are past. I declare new things' says the Lord. 'Before they spring forth I declare them.'" Isaiah 42:9

As we sit at the table, share communion, and reflect on the healing God designs in our lives I am reminded of something I once heard author Larry Crabb say. "Though we are created to sit at the banquet table and dine with the King, we often choose to crawl on the floor under the table looking for crumbs."

This is he perfect description of disordered eating. Crumb licking... Instead of enjoying food and functioning in a normal capacity with it- it crowds our minds and mental space, pushing out even the scent of a graceful God who never tires of inviting us to the table.

This day may be choose to eat with the King. I love you sweet sisters...

Overcoming our Spiritual Hysterics

2010-10-19T11:50:00.002-06:00

Hello sweet blog friends! I'm so sorry I disappeared for so long!

In the past 5 months I wrapped up a career in educational consulting, spoke at various speaking engagements around the country, sold and moved out of our home in Colorado, drove a huge moving truck to Texas with a girlfriend (we affectionately nicknamed it "The Beast"), worked in Uganda for most of June, and settled into a new home and life in Houston! Whew...I"m tired just typing about it!

In the months that followed this blitz of travel and chaos I came into a time of mental fog. It seemed that every time I sat down to pray and read the Bible I felt like I was tunneling through an iceberg with a blow dryer! Why couldn't I get back to the mental sharpness I was used to functioning in? Why did I feel like I needed to go back to Christianity 101 to reign my tired brain into submission?

It was during this time that the Lord spoke so sincerely to my need for chaos and challenge. He said "wait"... Wait? Are you kidding? I'm a mover and a shaker. A believer in healing, goodness and inspiration. "No" He said..."Just wait."

Oswald Chambers, the brilliant writer and preacher from the early 1900's said something that I still read each day. It's written on a sticky note above my kitchen sink- now wet and stained. It simply says..."Are we detached enough from our own spiritual hysterics to wait on the Lord? To wait is not to sit with folded hands, but to learn to do what we are told."

When our spiritual hysterics are screaming and pushing. When we are addicted to challenge and chaos. Or when life simply seems to spiral in directions that are unexpected- we wait on God. Our kicking, screaming, fretting and manipulating does no good. We wait... And it's in the waiting that the spiritual fog lifts.

Blessings...
Gari

Rewiring our brains for change

2010-03-10T08:42:00.004-07:00

Yesterday I talked about an article I read in Good Housekeeping. The gist of the article was that it is possible to rewire the neurological paths our brains function in. (If you didn't read yesterday's blog, check it out! There's some good research in it!) Some of the fall-out of poor brain functioning with food is: bingeing, eating with no regard to hunger, throwing up or feeling the need to "work-off" everything we ingest, using pills or laxatives to monitor routines with food, and simply over or under eating food regularly...living in fear that food will forever craft the way we view ourselves.
I remember a time when I lived in the middle of all of these behaviors. What a muddy mess! Then one day I stood in my closet and cried out to God..."Jesus, You say that we can have life, and life abundantly. This isn't abundant life- it's a hellish prison. Help me break out!"
That was the beginning of my brain rewiring.

So how do you go from the desire for brain surgery, to the actuality of living it? Here are a few of the things that I did both short-term and long-term to eradicate wrong thinking and habits, and replace them with truth and life.

1. Be honest with God and yourself about the behavior that has held you captive. No excuses or rationalizations! (Food is my only friend...I deserve this reward of food...It's no big deal if I overeat, tomorrow I'll diet!) Confess this thinking and ask God to forgive the mess we've participated in with food.

2. Be intentional with food like you would someone or something you love. Pay attention to what you eat-- not in a tormenting, dieting way, but a smart and excited way. I literally rewired my brain as to what I enjoy eating. Coming from a cheeseburger and Captain Crunch addict, this was huge. I am free to eat what I want, but most of the time I choose delicious, healthy food because I've rewired my brain to like them.

3. Understand that continuing to "present" my body as a slave to food is my choice. God doesn't love me any more or less according to my behavior with food, but by continuing to participate in the craziness, my life isn't what it could be. I love this scripture: "So consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Don't let sin reign in your body, that you would go on obeying its lusts. And don't go on presenting your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness, but present yourself to God, as alive from the dead!" (Romans 6:12)

Keep believing! Keep changing! Every small brain rewire is precious to God, because it means that you want to live a life free from bondage and full of hope.

Brain Surgery...Kind of...

2010-03-09T07:25:00.002-07:00

I picked up a copy of the April edition of Good Housekeeping and loved an article I read by Geneen Roth. She is one of my favorite authors on compulsive eating, and I have several quotes from her in my book, Truly Fed. She talks about how she changed her behavior with food...really changed it..for good. She shared about the newest research regarding the plasticity of the brain, and how it is capable of learning new ways of behaving-creating new neural pathways- but doing so requires repetition,focus, and consistency. To change a habit you've got to change the wiring of the brain by doing things differently. She went on to say that the average time for real change is 66 days, but some people need as long as 254 days. "That's almost a year!" I've heard some people scream in anguish. But my response is "Yes it is...but how's it working for you now?" Typically they get the point. Anything worth doing, changing, or putting our hearts into, takes time and focus. I call it intentionality. We intentionally eat and live our lives, not randomly and haphazardly. Not ruled by the lure of binges and compulsivity, but sanity and hope.
I've been free from compulsive food behavior for over 20 years, and often I am asked "But how do you not return to the old behaviors that messed you up in he first place?"
It's a great question, with many phases to the answer, but my main response is "I've rewired my brain!" The habits I replaced my old behvior with are now the way I live and function with food. Geneen Roth says "Since whatever you pay attention to flourishes, I became an expert in agonizing about my behavior rather than changing it."
The gift we have, that Good Housekeeping doesn't mention, is the secret to the "brain surgery" we need. It goes like this... "Do not be conformed to this world, but be TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable, and perfect." (Romans 12:2)
For the next few days I will talk about simple, but powerful ways we rewire our brains with food. It's not just Good Housekeeping, but Good Brainkeeping, and it's possible for every one of us- no matter how desperate or messed up we may feel!

What's Eating You?

2010-02-22T18:26:00.003-07:00

I recently picked up an old book titled The Power of Positive Thinking. There was a line in this small book that grabbed my attention. "Many people suffer poor health not because of what they eat, but from what's eating them."

Often it's not what's being put into our mouths that causes heartache in our lives, but why we are putting it in our mouths!

Mindless eating with no regard for hunger, eating out of boredom, frustration, or loneliness. Eating because we are angry with someone, or mad at ourselves. Eating to fill a void or emptiness that food seems to temporarily fill. Eating to get back at someone,or numb ourselves... The truth is that we were created with three types of hunger that function in our lives.

1. Body hunger is the natural function of the body to eat, be satisfied, and then need to eat again when hunger arises.
2. Emotional hunger is the need for certain emotional needs to be met. Love, companionship, respect, hope...are all examples of emotional needs we have that long to be comforted and addressed.
3. Spirit hunger is when our spirit needs to feed from God's love and His words to us through the bible, prayer, and fellowship with other believers.

When we stuff these types of hunger with food alone, we are starving the actual needs, and blindly stuffing food down as the false answer to all that we feel or desire. We eat instead of pray. Eat instead of believe for better things in our lives. Eat instead of feeling an emotion that is scary or has no quick resolve. Maybe we need to put the food down and actually feel our lives. Turn away from the refrigerator or mocha latte and pray. Food is meant to be enjoyed, but not to be a security blanket. Only God's love and assurance give that kind of security.

The Antidote to Fear

2010-02-07T13:25:00.006-07:00

I once heard a speaker say that fear is the most powerful of all thoughts- with one exception, and that exception is faith. Faith always overcomes fear. Master faith, and you will master fear. I love the thought of mastering fear, because deep at the core of disordered eating, I think fear lies, rotting and growing, spreading like a fungus on a wet rock.
** fear of no self-discipline
** fear that you will loose control
** fear that you will stay trapped in behaviors you hate
** fear that food will stay in the "bully" realm of your mind
** fear that other people "get it" and you don't
** fear that God is irritated with you on this topic- or worse-doesn't care
The first time the word fear is mentioned in the Bible is when Adam and Eve are being pursued by God after they have done something they are ashamed of. They hid because they were afraid to face God.
Why do we run from the very one that comforts us?
If the antidote to fear is faith- then the question is how do we turn our defeated, fearful minds into minds that exercise faith rather than condemnation? Faith rather than destructive habits? Faith rather than the overwhelming fear that nothing will ever change in our lives?
I believe in the "plunger" method- and I've used this method repeatedly in my freedom walk with food. Like a plunger unclogs a stopped drain, so this method unclogs my fearful mind. Every time a fearful thought invades my mind I replace it with thoughts based on scripture such as:
"Let not your heart be troubled, believe in God, believe also in Me." Jesus(John 14)

"Peace I leave you; My peace I give to you- not as the world give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." Jesus (John 14)

"Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you will receive, that your joy may be made full." Jesus (John 16:24)

Food has no power. It's just food. We give it the power to make us afraid.
May we plunge out the fear,and replace it with faith in a God bigger than what defeats us.

Pressure to live on a magazine page

2010-01-24T13:51:00.002-07:00

As I sit here with my daughter in her condo in Atlanta, I have glanced at all the magazines she has on her glass coffee table in front of me. Every time I turn the last page of the magazine I'm struck with two thoughts:
1. How does my body, face, skin, and hair compare to those on the magazine pages?
2. I wonder what kind of insecurities the women on those pages face?

As Christians, we've all heard the verse from Psalms that says "I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Although our heads know this, it's hard for our hearts (thighs, tummies, stringy hair) to believe it! We look at women that seem to have it all- and we always fall short of that illusive glossy magazine page. When I get that sinking feeling, I remind myself that even those women on the pages don't look like the images portrayed. Their images have been cut, pasted, air brushed and doctored- and we are the victims that stand wistfully wishing we looked like someone other than ourselves.
At the heart of this is Satan's successful strategy to make us discontent and unhappy with who we are. As long as we stay wrapped up in this blanket, we don't really move freely in our lives- as God intends.
Discontentment leads us to envy what others have that we want. It makes us feel forgotten- as if God overlooked us in certain areas of creation, and it holds us back from freely expressing love and hope in our own lives and the lives of others that God brings to us. I can think back to many times I pushed away from opportunities to love because my pants felt too tight, or I felt intimidated by someone that looked better than me.
The good news is that in God's magazine, we are the front page cover girls! We are precious, and perfect for the exact life He has planned for us. This is more than something we tell ourselves to make us feel better. It is the truth...splashed across the pages of God's word, and the faces of God's women. We are fearfully and wonderfully made- no matter how the current magazine cover makes us feel.

2010-01-12T16:47:00.002-07:00

Can you picture your life free from weird behavior with food? What would a day released from the nag of food look like? Many women I know have answered these questions with painful resolve. "I can't even pretend to picture a day in my life that's not wrecked by food..." they moan.

In the book of Habakkuk 2:3 God tells us to record our vision, so that the one who reads it may run. When I first began to get free from food bondage, I remember reading this verse, and literally creating a vision of myself free from the torture of my mental bullying with food. As I began to write this vision down, I enjoyed the thoughts of waking up in the morning with something other than food on my mind. I loved to imagine going through my day not thinking about what I could and could not eat, and dressing for the day without a barrage of negative comments smacking against my heart. At first I thought the vision was just wishful thinking, but then I read further into the verse.
"For the vision is yet for the appointed time; It testifies about the end, and it cannot lie.
Though it delays, wait for it, it will not fail. It certainly will come."
I realized that I needed to have a vision of my life, free from anorexic restriction and compulsive overeating. I needed to picture this life, and how I could live in it. Although it felt like the impossible dream at first- I wrote it down, and continued to look at it. The vision of freedom became my prayer of hope.
Oswald Chamber defines tenacity as "The absolute certainty that what you hope for will transpire." With God, tenacious prayer and vision always align with His character. He breathes life into our hopeless vision of ourselves, and helps us recreate a new vision of who we were mean to be.

Struggles

2010-01-08T13:26:00.002-07:00

I listened to a message today that was left for me on my voice mail. It was one of my sweet friends that has been through Truly Fed classes, and currently leads a group called Truly Fed: Going Deeper, when I am away. The tone of her voice was sad and defeated- yet at the end of the message she mentioned the powerful word hope. What do we do during times of struggle? How is it possible to experience seasons of freedom with food, and then fall back into patterns of destruction and despair?

We shouldn't be surprised when these times smash into our lives. We should expect them. When Jesus was teaching His disciples to pray, He said "Lead us away from temptation" not "Keep them perfect and robotic!" When freedom is your heart cry with food-- giving up binges and overeating, walking away from restriction and starvation, or denying the urge to purge what's been ingested-- there is always what I call a holy tension that takes place. You want to pursue the freedom and the hope of life free from compulsion, but sometimes a dark force seems to take over and we end up behaving in ways that we hate. Paul got it right when he described this battle in Romans. "Why do I do the very thing I hate?" he moaned. Then he reflected that it was the sin inside him. But he didn't stay stuck there. His next utterance was "Thank goodness I have a Savior that doesn't condemn and has set me free from this horrible predicament." When you feel like you are returning to old behavior, recognize that Satan likes to whisper to you that people really don't change. He wants you to believe that what you thought was freedom was just a temporary blip on your screen of failure with food. During the phase in which I was healing from food bondage I remember saying "I know I'm free. I'm just not acting like it this moment." This enabled me to believe in a bigger freedom movement that was taking place in my life- not just the small picture of a momentary action. Your freedom isn't a blip...it is the picture of your new life!

Jesus' Mission Statement

2009-12-29T13:05:00.002-07:00

Go to any business, school, or place where people gather to conduct business, and you will see a Mission Statement prominently posted for everyone to see. This statement shares with the customer or client- what the focus and intent of the business is. It's usually pretty easy to assess if the business is living up to their statement by the way they interact with you. In Luke 4: 18, we hear Jesus recite His mission statement to us. He says "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives, And recovery of sight to the blind. To set free those who are downtrodden."
This mission statement is intense and dramatic. Who would make these kind of claims unless they were truly able to deliver them? The truth is that Jesus can deliver on His claims. When it comes to the pain of disordered eating- He goes right after it in His mission. When He says that He is sent to release captives, He's talking about those of us who are held captive to the bondage of food, overeating, dieting relentlessly, starving ourselves, purging, and hating the very body we've been blessed with. He set the captive free by retraining our minds to hear His truth, not the lies of the world. When He says that He restores sight to the blind, He's talking about those of us who don't really see ourselves in the mirror, but a distorted reflection of flesh and hatred. He gives us His eyes to view our true self, and to see areas of our life that need cleansing and healing- without the punishing taunt of guilt and failure. When He says that he sets free those who are downtrodden, He's talking about all of us who have dieted ourselves crazy, with the same disappointing results! He's talking about the cycles of throwing up that you want to stop, but can't seem to.
Jesus wouldn't have shared this mission statement over His life if He wasn't fully able to deliver on it. He does set free. He does restore sight. He does lift and retrain the downtrodden! He has a plan for your life that doesn't include the misery of disordered eating. You can count on His words and truth. His mission statement won't fail or forsake you.

Whose voice are we listening to?

2009-12-14T15:20:00.002-07:00

In his book When the Enemy Strikes Charles Stanley writes "Never forget the devil's purposes:

To draw you away from God
To thwart God's purpose for your life
To deny the glory of God in your life
To destroy you in any way he can, including physical health"

The misuse of food is a tool that Satan uses to draw us away from God. As a matter of fact, as long as we're preoccupied with a poor self-image, bizarre eating patterns, and obsession with dieting and purging, we're limited in the freedom and joy we can live out with God. It's not that they can't coexist- it's just that they aren't firing on all cylinders.

God has a lot to say about freedom. His words bring hope, as Paul explains:

It was for freedom that Christ set us free, therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1-2)

Any voice that opposes God's call to freedom in a believer's life is false. Any voice that stifles hope or mocks the belief that we can live free from bondage is not from God. He is our greatest cheerleader, and He is the provider of our finest victories.

Eating as Community Behavior

2009-12-08T09:43:00.002-07:00

Sorry I've been so absent on my blog! I've been traveling nonstop, and finally have been able to sit down and breath... just in time for the holidays! Actually, I love the holidays, and they are even sweeter to me as I live my life free from the pain of overeating, purging, and starving.

Many women I speak to equate the holidays with overeating, or the panic of having to figure out what to eat or not eat. Sweets and treats, parties and functions- all lend themselves the opportunity to enjoy the people, gatherings, and food that we are around, or the opportunity to eat (purge, restrict) to our destruction.
God seemed to have three things in mind when he created our bodies to need food:
1.) We need a variety of foods for our bodies to function well
2.) We have taste buds so that we can enjoy food and the flavors they provide
3.) We can eat in community rather than in isolation and secrecy

Around the holidays we are typically eating in community more than other times of the year. Many women don't eat in front of others, only to binge on food later. Baking becomes disastrous as dozens of treats are consumed before they are wrapped. Those struggling on the anorexic end worry about what they will be served and how they can hide their restrictive habits.

A perfect contrast to this is Jesus' approach to food. He ate when hungry, stopped when satisfied, and loved the community act of sharing a meal together. His good friends Martha, Mary and Lazarus routinely ate meals together and talked. His first miracle was performed at a blow-out wedding where the party would have ended in disgrace if He didn't step in. And some of the most profound words found in the Bible took place at a last supper.

The fuel to disordered eating is secrecy and isolation. So this holiday season, let's enjoy the food and company we have. Let's savor the conversations rather than the plot to get rid of the food later. Let's celebrate the taste buds we have, and the texture of rich conversation and love. It's a delicacy too precious to ignore.

Hunger or habit?

2009-10-28T13:29:00.002-06:00

Why do we eat what we do? What pushes us, prods us, and pulls us towards food?
As I stood in my hotel room this week, traveling around the country like a vagabond for the organization I consult for, I recognized that hunger often has very little to do with why we eat.

I arrived at my hotel tired and stressed as I thought about the days that were ahead. My husband was waiting to hear about a big job opportunity, one that would put him back in the major leagues as a coach, after a heartbreaking exit from the NY Yankees coaching staff- and all I wanted to do was eat crackers! I was nervous, tired, and a bit on edge- and my instinct was to grab the bag of cheddar rice cakes that I brought along in my suitcase.
Instead, I dropped to my knees beside the hotel bed and bowed my head. I asked God to fill the hole in my heart and nerves, instead of me numbly eating crackers.
A sense of purpose and peace came over me as I stood up. After living free from food compulsion for over 20 years, I still know my weak times. Those times I'd like to grab food out of the desire to feel numb, or to erase nerves and apprehension. We all eat from emotion at times...a cup of great cocoa when it's cold and we want to feel cozy, the chocolate when PMS is raging in our bodies, chicken soup when we feel sick and want to be comforted. There's nothing wrong with that at all! The trouble starts when we turn an emotion into an eating habit.
Soon the habit is how we function- rather than feeling our lives as God has intended We stuff our days and nights with drive-thru raids, cupboard hoards, and compulsive eating, rather than feeling the pain or mundane of life.
Even Jesus Himself felt bored, lonely, angry, hurt, apprehensive, joyful, sorrowful, disappointed, and let down by those he loved and trusted. But we don't see Him stuffing away His pain with figs, bread, fish or wine. He felt it. He lived it. He believed in a greater purpose than momentary discomfort.
We are invited to feel our lives rather than stuff them. I think I'll R.S.V.P to that invitation today.

Voices We Hear in our Heads

2009-10-14T13:46:00.002-06:00

Have you ever stopped to think about what you hear in your head? The endless banter and chatter almost becomes natural to us- except for the fact that there is nothing natural about beating yourself up daily. Author Tim Hansel states that the average person speaks about 120 words a minute, but psychologist tell us that when we self-talk, that is carry on conversations in our heads, we speak at a rate of about 1,300 words a minute...70% of those words being negative! So where do these voices come from?
Most of what drives disordered eating plays out in the head before we ever grab a spoon or fork. Lies and accusations rant in our minds. "You will always fail." "You'll never change."
"There is no such thing as freedom. This is as good as it gets." On and on, like a bad tape stuck in a recorder- the messages play in our minds. Most voices we hear come from one of three sources:

Our parents (spoken and unspoken)
Our culture (media, peers, teachers)
Satan (called the "Accuser" (Revelation 12:10) and "Father of Lies" (John 8) by Jesus

It's Satan's voices that really toy with our minds as we attempt to separate truth from lies. Charles Stanley, in his book When the Enemy Strikes points out that Satan has a few main purposes:

To draw you away from God
To thwart God's purpose for your life
To deny the glory of God in your life

Food has been a brilliant tool in his hand to draw us away from God. The lies and accusations we feel heap condemnation and despair on us rather than hope and freedom. Speak back to the lies! Don't believe them anymore...call them out! There is truth and inspiration waiting in God's whispers of belief in you...

(For more on this topic check out chapter 6 in my book Truly Fed: Finding Freedom from Disordered Eating www.trulyfed.com )

Why Hunger?

2009-10-07T14:41:00.003-06:00

What's our problem with hunger? I've done a lot of pondering on this topic, and have come to realize that we were created with a need for hunger. When our bodies are done using what they've been fed, we are supposed to feel the trigger of hunger. The problem is, we are so used to either stuffing ourselves throughout the day, listening to diets and food plans that tell us when to eat and how much, bingeing on food to the point of feeling ill, or abusing hunger (anorexia)going after its starvation effect. Why are we so afraid to experience the normal function of hunger in our lives?
I believe we experience three types of hunger:
Body Hunger: This is the natural function of the body that uses up the food we ingest, and then needs to be filled again.

Spirit Hunger: The desire to be filled spiritually by communicating with God in prayer, learning from the word (the bible), fellowship with other believers, and experiencing the beauty of God within creation (nature, music, people).

Emotional Hunger: Eating to cover up an emotion such as boredom, loneliness, fear, anger, stress or frustration.

Many times we are really hungry spiritually, yet we stuff in food rather than turn to God. Sometimes we have an emotion that is glaring, yet we eat to cover it up and not "feel" it. Sometimes our bodies are just plain hungry, yet we deny our body the satisfaction of feeding it properly, or binge instead of listening to what our bodies need. Paying attention to what kind of hunger we are experiencing can start to undo disorder when it comes to food.

Garbage in the trash can or garbage in my body

2009-09-14T11:12:00.002-06:00

I've been traveling a ton lately, and each time I go through airport security I watch a ritual that amazes me. As people near the check point where their luggage will be inspected and liquids aren't allowed, a frenzy of liquid consumption takes place. Bottles of soda, whipped cream coffee drinks a mile high, waters, teas, and juices are downed in lightning speed. The comments of these frenzied drinkers are always the same "I can't take this with me, I better finish it up!" I wonder how many of these people actually want or enjoy what they are slamming down in those harried moments before going through security.
It brings up a point I constantly think of when I think about being free from food bondage. If I don't want or need the food or drink, I can easily throw it away, because it's garbage in the trash can, or garbage in my body. I'll choose the trash can!
For many of us we grew up being taught that we had to clean our plates, regardless of feeling stuffed or not hungry. "There are starving children in India!" was a phrase I remember hearing from well meaning adults. The truth is, eating what I don't want just to not waste food, is wasting it in my body! Our bodies are not trash cans, and eating what we don't need never helps anyone in India either.
We were created with a miraculous mechanism in our digestive system that alerts us when we are feeling full so that we can stop eating, feel satisfied, and move on to something else. The problem is that we are accustomed to not listening to that mechanism. We leave the table with pants unzipped, feeling guilty and overstuffed. Next time you are feeling full, but still have food in front of you remember this phrase "It's garbage in the trash can, or garbage in my body...I'll choose the trashcan!"

Battle of the Binge

2009-09-02T08:05:00.003-06:00

I was talking to a lovely woman yesterday about her struggles with food. She was lamenting the fact that she has gained weight due to binging. Throughout the year she had taken two Truly Fed classes, and experienced the joy of freedom, but had crawled back to her old habits and heartache with food. As we were talking I thought about the actual reality around binge eating. As I see it, there are two types of binges: a premeditated binge and a tidal wave binge.
A premeditated binge is one where you plan in advance what you are going to stuff yourself with. Thoughts of a drive-thru romp, a blaze through the snack aisle at the grocery store, or the plan to bake something and devour it by yourself- all result from a premeditated plan to consume a large amount of food secretly.
A tidal wave binge is when you are eating a meal or snack, and the taste of the food, or the feeling you get from eating it, completely overtakes you. Like a tidal wave that has gained momentum over the ocean, the desire to consume insane amounts of food washes over you and crashes upon your taste buds, hands, and stomach. Before you know it, wrappers, bags, and boxes have been emptied, leaving great destruction behind.
Here's the good news... God cares about binging, and is there as an ever present help to redirect our premeditation, and to stop the tidal waves. Think about these truths as you enter into binge habits:
Premeditated binges~ Psalm 19: 14
"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my rock, and my redeemer."

Tidal Wave binges~ Romans 12:21
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

We can change the way we think and respond to food. We don't have to be slaves to the lure of binging!

What should I weigh?

2009-08-30T08:26:00.002-06:00

Have you ever thought about the relentless pursuit we sometimes engage in to attain a weight that doesn't make sense for us? I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I don't get on a scale very often. In my old behavior I wore that scale on my finger like a mood ring. If it was high, I was miserable. If it was low, I was thrilled, and anticipated a good day.
When I began to heal from food bondage I remember thinking about a novel idea. Why not pray and ask God what a good weight for me is? After all, He created me- He might have a decent clue what a good weight for me might be! Once I uttered a prayer about this, I instantly knew what the right weight for me was. Not too thin, but thinner than the doctor's charts that dictate a certain weight for a height. I have stayed within the same 4- 5 pound range of that weight for over 20 years now. Sometimes the scale dips a bit lower by a pound or two, and sometimes it's a pound or two higher- but the difference is my reaction to it. No more mood ring for me! If it's higher I become more intentional with my food intake for a few days (sowing seeds as I call it in my book Truly Fed), and if it's lower I just continue with my life as usual. The scale is not a dictator! It doesn't have any real power. It's just numbers on a piece of metal. The real power is in your ability to walk towards freedom, to pray for wholeness, and to accept God's wisdom and direction for a new way of living with food.

A Day in the Life of a Freedom Finder

2009-08-27T14:49:00.004-06:00

I often ask people in Truly Fed classes to imagine what a entire day would look like, free from the control of food. They squirm and ponder- and painfully confess that they can't really picture it, because every one of their senses is so warped with destructive behavior towards food.
Today I flew in a small propeller plane from Denver to South Dakota to do some consulting. As I drove past farms, hay stacks, and a robin blue sky based against the Black Hills, I thought about my former life compared to my current life. Back in the old days- food would have been on my mind every minute. What am I going to eat? Where can I get what I want? Will I be able to eat a normal quantity without getting sick? Do I want to binge tonight? I can starve it off later? Where can I work out?
My mind hurts just thinking about the mental cyclone that was typical in my daily thinking. Today it's completely different. I actually enjoy where I am, being present in every place that God brings me. Today it's South Dakota, and it's beautiful. I've been here for hours and haven't even thought about food once! In a few minutes I'm going to drive to Mnt. Rushmore and enjoy it, and then look for a place to eat. I'll eat what I want, usually healthy, but not restrictive, and stop when I feel full. I'll go to bed and feel great when I wake up, because binging and overeating are not part of my habitual behavior any more. Freedom is the gift, no... treasure- that we all can have. We all deserve it, and God wants us to live that way. Many people say to me, "Well maybe this is just the cross I have to bear in my life!" Not true! Some say "This is my one pleasure in life!" Overeating, binging, or starving is not a pleasure, it's a counterfeit. Freedom is the exhilaration of knowing that you won't ever return to your self-deception. It's knowing that God is your biggest cheerleader, and will direct and lead you to taking the chains off your life.

What is truth regarding food?

2009-08-21T09:44:00.002-06:00

Have you ever wondered about truth? Do we really know what truth is in our lives? Jesus says something profound and powerful when He says "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." How does the truth set us free? It releases us by shedding light on what is a lie, and what is real. Lies are masked as reality, when actually they are just poisonous whispers.
Lies regarding food:
Life will never change. I will always feel like a failure with food.
I have no self- control or discipline in my life.
I have to be perfect with food- or I am a complete loser. (Perfect dieting leading to crazy binging)
Food is my one pleasure and escape. It's all I have.
Truth regarding food:
I was created with taste buds to enjoy food, but not abuse it.
I can make good choices regarding food, and change behaviors that have led me to despair.
I have fullness in life that doesn't need food to numb me.
I can eat in community and communion- rather than secrecy and isolation.

Seek after truth. When I began replacing the lies that ran me ragged with truth, my life completely changed. It was like pushing the off button to a bad CD playing on a giant boom box.
May your truth play loudly today- replacing the ugly lies.

Being flexible with food... Ouch!

2009-08-16T13:38:00.005-06:00

I just had a bizarre experience with food- even after 22 years of freedom from food related compulsivity. As I have been traveling with my husband through minor league baseball towns- eating at strange times and not on any routine, I have pondered the state of my freedom. I typically eat one meal each day here(a good meal and I eat only until I feel full) and by the time his baseball game is over, it's late, and I eat only a snack, even though I'm really hungry by then. It's unlike my routines at home where work and daily schedules dictate a more normal eating pattern. This morning my husband and I woke up and went for a run. We then showered and ran some errands, and planned to go to a restaurant that I loved for lunch. It was around 12:30, and I was really hungry. Right before we got to the restaurant my husband mentioned wanting to check out the buffet offered at the hotel we were staying at. I said sure, thinking that of course he would rather eat at the place I wanted to, but I'd go along with the "checking it out" to be polite. Once we got into the buffet he said he'd rather eat there, and I agreed that it was OK, even though I really wanted to eat a particular salad that I loved at the place across the street I prayed a silent prayer that I wouldn't be grumpy or unpleasant to my husband or son. The meal wasn't nearly as good as what I hoped for, but I made the best of it. Later in the day I had to ponder a few tough questions: Was I so locked into my hope for that good meal that I was willing to risk good time with my family over it? Am I just so used to getting my way with my husband that when he actually had a desire that opposed mine I was mad? I thought and prayed about these questions all day as they perplexed me. I know I'm free and so happy with my freedom, but sometimes there are interesting fragments of selfish compulsion that try and push their way into my heart. Being flexible is a sure sign of true growth in someone that struggles, or at one time struggled with anorexia. This was a great reminder of that truth..

Tenacity for the long haul

2009-08-15T08:50:00.002-06:00

Eating is something we must do daily. It's not like alcohol or drugs, where you can eliminate them from your life altogether, and be better for it. Not only do we need to eat, but God created taste buds on our tongues for a reason. We were meant to enjoy food! For so many of us, eating has become a curse. A giant blotch on the linen of our lives. The goal of Truly Fed, and the message of my book, is that freedom is the pursuit, not perfection in dieting. Dieting is a carnal way of fighting a spiritual battle. It doesn't work for the long haul. In his classic work titled My Utmost for His Highest Oswald Chambers defines tenacity as "The absolute certainty that what we hope for will transpire." When we believe that we can live and function differently with food, something begins to happen within us. We allow the power and cleansing of God to scrub this area of our lives for His good, and our own good. It's a scrubbing that changes who we are...

The Freedom we Find in Discipline

2009-08-14T14:09:00.004-06:00

Freedom and discipline seem to war against each other. When we think of freedom we often think of lazy days at the beach, or being free to do whatever we want. The truth is, freedom is never actually free. The only way we enjoy freedom, is through an understanding of discipline. When is comes to food, we're free to eat what we want to eat, but not gluttonously. We lose freedom when gluttony enters the picture. Gluttony never invites freedom. Its only companions are guilt, failure, and stomach aches! I remember back in my "prison days" with food, I never felt free. I felt like I had no self-control. I hated myself for it, but it drove my emotions and self-image like an angry drill sergeant. Now that I am free I realize that I don't need to overeat food to feel satisfied. There is a powerful scripture in the bible that talks about sowing seeds to the flesh for destruction, or sowing seeds to the spirit for life. Life-sowing seeds regarding food and eating are what changed my life for over 22 years now. What a wonderful feeling it is to be Truly Fed and Truly Free!

Disordered eating!!!

2009-08-12T21:27:00.002-06:00

Dealing with disordered eating can consume your life. It's not just the extremes of anorexia and bulimia, but the yo-yo dieting that lasts for years- even decades. It's the hatred of your body and the picking apart of thighs and tummies. It's the accusing after eating anything that's not on the "good food" list. Years ago I almost took my life due to the pain of compulsive overeating, and anorexia. On the verge of suicide I asked God to save my life, and show me real truth regarding food and habits. I've been free for over 20 years now, and I love to share this brilliant hope with others. If you are struggling with any type of disordered eating, rest assured... there is hope!